The profoundly important value of finding community

This post may contain affiliate links and we may earn a small commission for purchases made through the same, at no added cost to you. Please read more about our policies. Thank you.

By nature, we humans are drawn to tribalism and community – that is, we like to gather in groups around shared interests. I’m not even an amateur sociologist so I’ll leave it at that. But I doubt anyone reading this will disagree with my statement. Some associations are incredibly close, such as those with our families, partners, and our closest friends. Others are rather casual and fun – fans supporting the same sports team and enjoying each other’s company, even if only briefly at a bar or a stadium. Most of the groups in which we find ourselves are somewhere on the spectrum between those two extremes.

When it comes to financial independence, retire early (FIRE), it can be difficult to find people with whom you can talk with full disclosure. The ideals of this path are rather foreign to some, and often merely suggesting your interest in FIRE to somebody can be met with confusion, derision, or even complete disgust. My YouTube show partner, Eric, and I have talked about this in several episodes on our channel (here, here, and here). Of course your spouse or partner is an active participant in the journey so they are a valued confidant. And perhaps you’re lucky enough to have a good friend on the journey like I do – these days, but I didn’t earlier on. But many people don’t have any of these. Where to turn?

The internet can be a positive place for discourse…right?

As one who’s been online since the early days of what we now collectively term as the internet, I’m the last person to claim that it’s a wondrous land of only positive interactions. But it’s also difficult to argue with the fact that there are topical communities of all kinds, across a breadth of platforms, where one can find like-minded folks. Groups of people with similar interests congregate in forums, in groups on Reddit or Facebook, on chat rooms + servers, in the comments sections of blogs and YouTube videos, and the list goes on. There’s certainly no shortage of options. But what is actually useful?

I think all of the above have their place. FIRE-themed blogs and YouTube channels tend to be very high quality content, since many creators not only have first-hand experience, but also generally take the time to research and perhaps even reference their content. So even from a purely informational source, there’s plenty of value. I would assert that similarly themed forums and groups are also pretty useful, while being less formal in nature. But the bar to content creation is much lower in these platforms, so you get the benefit of a diversity of experiences and a much higher volume of materials to take in. This can also lead to signal to noise issues, of course.

All of the above forms of content creation generally have a social aspect to them as well, in the form of comment sections and otherwise providing an ability to reply and engage with others using the resources in question. The quality of experience here differs by the specific group or forum, as well as based on what the topic is. Trolls can of course raise their heads anywhere, though there is often moderation in place to manage this. There’s also the challenge of those lesser informed or simply who have an axe to grind to disrupt otherwise productive discourse. There are good reasons why some people say “never read the comments” – though of course doing so means potentially missing out on really valuable – and personal exchange.

Enter Discord, and the benefits of live community engagement

I extensively used (and still do to a lesser degree) all of the above resources on my path to FIRE. In fact, I discovered that FIRE “was a thing” via the very same, after years of saving towards early retirement before realizing others had similar goals and a framework to get there! But once I achieved financial independence and left my career at 47, I found I was craving something more. When I posted on those forums I sometimes received appreciative responses from those earlier on their journeys, but it wasn’t very engaging. The experience was often rather one-way. But one day I stumbled across a Reddit post about a Discord server dedicated to FIRE (What is Discord? for more info). I’d used this chat service in an app coding class before, and my teen sure used it a lot to talk with her friends. But how would it be useful to me now? I was certainly intrigued!

It turns out it’s been really great for me in several ways. First and foremost, this community is filled with a diverse group of several hundred people, all of whom have one very important thing in common: they’re all on a FIRE journey. Some are still in the early exploratory stages, while a few are out the other side, post-RE. Most are very actively working towards achieving FI. That makes it a really safe space to talk openly about a topic that can be challenging to discuss with others not on the path. Some of these people haven’t yet shared their aspirations with close friends or families, yet here they can talk openly – and completely anonymously if that’s their preference. Importantly, it’s also an incredibly supportive and largely very thoughtful group of people.

I particularly appreciate that there’s a broad range of ages represented among participants, as well as a diversity of geographic locations. Admittedly, there aren’t too many 40-somethings on the server – yet (Discord being much more popular with younger people) but I was happy to see another “old guy” online yesterday. There’s also a much broader gender diversity than I typically find among the other resources I listed above. Not to put too fine a point on it, but nearly all of the most popular FIRE-themed blogs and YouTube channels are led by men, and those are largely white Americans in their late 30s to mid-40s. That’s definitely not the case on this server, which is hugely beneficial in my opinion. I learn so much by engaging with a more diverse group of people (hint: diversity and inclusion has real value).

Where I find value in participating

One thing I truly appreciate is the open exchange on the server. Because the platform allows one to be as anonymous as they like, information is shared with a huge degree of freedom. Many on this server share their full financial pictures, their goals, as well as their successes and challenges along the way. This is so valuable for others on the path who may have had no good reference points prior to joining the server. I sure wish I had so much data available, along with an ability to ask questions in real time when I was much earlier in my own journey! It’s impossible to overstate the value of that in providing education and actionable information to help you develop and refine your own FIRE plans.

Due to the channel infrastructure used on Discord (configurable by server) it’s also super easy to focus on (or ignore) topics that are (or not) of interest to you. Cryptocurrency not your thing? Mute that channel or don’t spend time there. Want to ask questions about your portfolio? Head on over to #investing and see what people think about your asset allocation. There are also wholly social channels to talk about hobbies, cooking, or travel – just to name a few. It’s pretty handy to have a “one stop shop” all under one roof and some use it more socially than others – it’s a personal preference. You can also DM with people.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out the incredibly valuable feedback I’ve gotten from our server’s community on my own content creation. I know that whenever I share an article or a new video, I’m going to hear from at least a few of the folks I interact with most often. And their input is so helpful to me – and I probably don’t thank them enough (thank you!). True, comments on the blog and on YouTube come with increasing regularity, and those are also useful (thank you, too!). But there’s just something different about getting input from people you know a bit better – and understand their viewpoints more. I’m honestly so thankful for their willingness to help me improve my content.

Go find your people!

I believe we all need to find community, and also that it can take a variety of forms. For those on the FIRE path or who are interested in learning more about it, you have many options at your disposal. Personally, I still consume content from all of the different sources listed in this post. Of late, I’m certainly finding some of the most value in this FIRE Discord server. If it sounds like something you’d like to check out, this link is your personal invite! It’s a free service and (sadly) I get no kickbacks for referring you. I’m just happy to share a great resource! If you do stop by, please be sure to say hi to me when I’m on:

PS – I’ll take this post as a reminder that I really need to make a good Resources page for this blog so I can share all my favorite blogs, subreddits, etc. with you!

image source: Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

Please Leave a Comment!